1. |
Thought Contract
02:00
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[Verse 1]
If a thought were a contract, I'd try to buy out of it
I don't know why I signed at the bottom
I'm bound to the words that I didn't even speak yet
As eyes have their own language
Why submit to a rhyme when it doesn't reason?
What you thought was deep is but beneath depth
A keepsake that hates thanks well rehearsed
All that's left is memories when we cross Jordan
We get older and feel the regrets
Sting like our conscience sleeps on a bed of nails
It must be lovely to know innocence again
This weariness will not subside
No matter what's accrued, when it's due
It'll be taken from you, so give while you still can
Every touch is a reminder of joy present
In the world, a heartfelt embrace between real friends
[Verse 2]
In a land barren of love, forsaken by compassion
Vilified are those who are taking a stand
Against sociopaths who market the world's ills
As the cure for the very thing that teaches how to heal
If distrust is taught, we give up distraught
It's on us to sow hope, we can't lust for rewards
Cause the bounty on our heads was placed by the ones
Who can't afford to see us happy, so they pay to see us dead...
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2. |
Melancholia
03:40
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[Verse 1]
The meridian between joy and sorrow
Crossed by the equator, a few feet removed from my nadir
A flat parabola was suggested for whatever success is
Defiance reinforced the redoubt, a valiant effort
Told to step outside of it, meet the tenants
Of a settlement full of pessimist folks in need of penance
Been there before and have yet to heed their lessons
Inhale their atmosphere and breathe congested
The tapes became loose from often repeated messages
In essence fatigue, from stress indeed, overdue to set in
Signals that were overcompressed
Aimed at the tympanic membrane, loathingly hissed
Made of galactic matter, when the nova hits
I'ma blow up like V838 Monocerotis
Shrink back to size, get dense and spin
A teaspoon of my thoughts the opposite of what it says on the tin
Was shaken, not stirred from events
Seeing that the grass was dried brown on both sides of the fence...
[Verse 2]
A heartbeat away from letting a woman lead me astray
The machine broke, thank human engineering it did
Never did I think to glean hope
From the failure perpetrated by the person that had made it, me
There is still room for improvement
There usually is, so I try to reduce Newtons
Saturnine look on my face, mercurial ways
Introverted, penning my cursive, see I just need space
Escapist tendencies, my sanctuary's dreamscape
Always shrouded in green clouds when in between takes
In tune with my past, so the vocals may phase
Waterside, thinking back to how it felt to be treasured
Mutally induced and reciprocated coldness
Eventually burns the bridge spanning pain and pleasure
And I was on that bridge when it fell
Nothing awaits beneath, not even hell
You can slow the descent, but approaching the end
Serenity sets in, now you're afloat in the winds of change...
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3. |
The Last Few Months
03:56
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[Verse 1]
So many years of my life...
I used to wonder if you saw what I was giving you
Without ever asking myself if you was willing to
So now that I have given up on feeling wistful
You tell me all you wanted to hear is that I miss you
A friend of mine once wrote a poem on vicissitudes
Like getting judged on the one thing that you didn't do
In the face of those you did, it should pale
But humans expect the best, and when you are, you can't fail
Open ocean, you are free to set sails
If you lack the faith to see beyond the veil
How long have we lived in a world of dreams
Without ever poking one another, so we know it's real?
What about the journeys that we couldn't undertake?
Because whenever I was ready to, you'd run away?
See, there is no such thing as bad timing
Just the wreck left behind when we've failed to read the signage
Some people we shouldn't warn, but we warned them
Saw cycles that they couldn't break, and tried to reform them
They're probably asking themselves what we want from them
But they'll go crazy if we ever cease to want them
Hoping for a chance that may never come
Imprisoned by a moment long past, till at long last
Memories are ultimately compartmentalized
Yet when it's quiet, we couldn't help but fantasize...
[Verse 2]
Tempted by lust, tempered by trust
Between me, you and her, nothing's ever enough
We want more so we go for, exiled to pleasure
Ran through a box of three in a day, then bought the next one
She's found at raves, downing Margeri's
Passing Js, feeling on women who felt first
Tongues meet in confined space, my version of wet work
She knelt before the sword, trying to fall into it
She closed the door, didn't want all to view it
Eyes met, time froze, there was more to it
We went back to her place, put on some soft music
If I didn't tear the wall down, at least I roared through it
Get a kick from pissing neighbors off
Putting strains on bedsprings or dents into wallpaper from headboards
It's more than just lust, it's a self-control freak
Losing himself willingly to the rush
It's the smell afterwards, goosebumps from the touch
No such thing as too much
Funny thing is we still treat each other just like friends
So what the fuck do we know about love?
[Verse 3]
Open up, show a person that you care for
How you truly feel, that you will be there for
Recently read a story about a young girl
That took her own life, cause she felt she was a burden
To her mother, that she felt didn't love her
So much pain, depressions ate her alive, then the drugs became
A way to escape the torment, only temporarily though
Cause when the high dies, it's back to low
She wrote a note on Tumblr, said it was the end
While a tune in her memory played, I couldn't hold it in
Reminded of the lost ones
Who had nobody near when the storm would come
I wrote a message to a woman I cherish
Asked for forgiveness, cause I never let her know she was very missed
I asked her to never let us lose us
Cause there is still hope for us in the future
Told her she inspired my songs
She replied she believes in me to always be strong
And make my way in this life, to be love and give it
One day we'll see each other again, whoever visits...
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4. |
Nerve Toxins
01:52
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[Verse 1]
Grey strands of hair, eyes tired
When sense is absent from life, may the buyer
Beware, every word is a spike on an iron chair
The fog of war covers land love has pioneered
In the end, thankless duties are shirked
And those making demands see the value of the work
The doer of the misdeed suspects
The victim of the same acts, as though the bond wasn't strained yet
The mirror bore the same cracks as his soul
Because the one trying to be in is losing control
The young ones pick up on the vibe and it molds
Their perception of dealings between two adults
Perpetuated abuse won't let scars heal
And the pain is carried on concealed behind a shield
In the end, we only contend with ourselves
Which is why we believe we must fend for ourselves
[Verse 2]
Shame's revealed when a promise wasn't kept and you're
Held to it, see the grid from below? You fell through it
No clipping, neither to your own stunted wings
Nor the bigger picture, you'll never glimpse
The days have long passed where you tried me
And somehow lucked into me speaking out in your defense
You can find me where the grass isn't greener, but at least it's there
You can't reap where you didn't sow seeds
Apologies are of very little use to me
And your little shoes no longer fit on my feet
My glares smash hulls whose integrity is poor
Since your mask doesn't hold, I would rather be ensured
You tell me, should I cut cords to cut losses?
Hard losing something that from the start was forfeit
When lines are crossed, you nail whoever crossed ya
And I'm just real glad to be off ya
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5. |
Cold Season
02:52
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[Verse 1]
Serenity sets in when purpose arrives
Never had a God, but I worship time
To do with as I please, in my privacy
Imagined that as a religion, but it seemed unlikely
No time to tell others their business
Unless I have invested interest, ya get it?
Slow train coming, they call that reform
Calm as the storm, it's y'all that can't weather it
Shedding my adherence to norms that ain't definite
20 percent of my attention is worth
80 percent of the shits I had left to give
The rest of them is found in the nether of irrelevance
Done perusing the past, stepped out the Animus
If women want me to care now, tell'em I'm celibate
Utilitarian mindframe, it's not the most popular
But simply put I'm tired of the mindgames...
[Interlude]
I'm sure, in some parallel universe out there, at the other end of the wormhole, beyond the barriers of the observable, far from entropy's all-withering grasp, there is a version of me that actually gives a shit. But don't get your hopes up.
[Verse 2]
Indifference is so cathartic
My mind was so cluttered, I'm feeling true neutral
You probably liked me better all cuddly
Me, I probably like you better in a tutu
The non-sequitur is fitting, if you didn't follow
Like when you're saying something's lit, cause you think it's novel
Today is just a day that I feel like
Extending the longest digit on the hand that feels right
Dressed to kill the notion I would pay the cost
You're the type of square not found in a natal chart
First of April, you're the resident smart-ass
But I have been a dick beforehand, you've been warned
Broads checking on me thinking I'll check back
But I got the nuts, bet that on your small pair
Never supported any of my endeavours
And I've been raised by better, why d'you think I would call there?
Cold season, go and find you a warm heart
I just got a taste of the money and want more
Been sleeping alone for the last four years
So at this point of my life, there's not a bed I would share
I'm good, we can be friends, ends will stay separate
Against nature, changing his spots, the leopard did
You probably thought you got me all figured out
Well, which of us idiots is bigger now?
Single Malt in the tumbler
Asinine comments get ignored as I rap into a Wunder
I hope you find the love of your life
What if I find loving my life is much more important?
Hard to judge bars you could never pass
Done being modest to a fault, here's a better draft
You can be blind and given a stick
Regain sight, and see that dog never really existed...
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6. |
A Man Can Dream
04:03
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[Verse 1]
Laid prone on jade stones
The day slows to a creep, allowing the body
To recharge cells in non-REM sleep
Phone on "fuck it", today's about me
Nobody's business whose company I keep
Carefree is how I wanna be
Sitting in my favorite seat, the purple egg chair
Across from the couch with my favorite peeps
Exhale, smoke drifts from both lips
Watermelon peppermint, moments frozen
In time, Art Pepper on the saxophone, heaven-sent
A fruit platter on the side, antioxidants in white tea
That's how I keep my cypher complete
While I sit and write my life to these beats
Telling punk rebels punt pebbles, find a quarry not a quarrel
Headphones on blast, to cordially ignore you, as I'm
[Chorus]
Exploring life's great mysteries
Seeing the sights in dreams vividly
Heart-to-heart talks with no fear
All judgment withheld, we just share
The finest goods that the palate could appreciate
Little to no tension to alleviate
One woman, some friends, recline
Making love just to pass the time
(A man can dream...)
[Verse 2]
Watching docs on space travel
Then wage battles for chip stacks and rakebacks
At a friend's home with a gray cat purring
Laying on my chest, that'll mitigate stress
Or, shooting in an empty gym, by myself
Just the ball and the rim as every pore in my skin
Opens the vent, hot shower, cold shower, alternate
Refuel with artesian water then I'm on my way
Simple pleasures, movie marathon, a few pizzas
Oak-barreled rhum, Vanilla Coke, but no reefer
Museum hopping while I'm out with a gatinha
That make'em ask their man "have you seen her?"
These are just days in the life of a dreamer
Worth waking up to, while taking in the view
Of a city never resting, new impressions so
I'm curious with questions like what's the human essence?
[Chorus]
Exploring life's great mysteries
Seeing the sights in dreams vividly
Heart-to-heart talks with no fear
All judgment withheld, we just share
The finest goods that the palate could appreciate
Little to no tension to alleviate
One woman, some friends, recline
Making love just to pass the time
(A man can dream...)
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7. |
Nothing New
04:09
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[Verse 1]
A token from the sages, never once heeded
Resulted in a hatred that we keep feeding
And let it stew because we can't see the
Inherent fault in that logic, 'cause we don't need it
On a place called Earth, driven by base desires
We measure value by what is acquired
Too often I saw pain when I looked inside a woman's eyes
Fourty-three thousand two hundred times, how do you empathize?
Policía's in on it, so are priests and judges
Girls are trafficked, everybody wants a piece of it
Corruption's deep-seated, men have never seemed above it
Some extremists see rape as a form of worship
Difficult to see beauty in this world, yet
Nothing else will keep us wanting more from our existence
Things we do to each other alter the distance
Between us, are we enemies or brothers and sisters?
Everything alleged don't mean everything's permitted
While lies and deception run rampant
A story got posted, while the so-called
Female suicide bomber is living in Morocco
A teen is shot and killed on a dashcam
Will atrocities continue till the last man?
Something's cynical about an Act of Free Choice
Especially when gold reserves become a key point
Germany's expending soldiers in a proxy war
The queues of refugees are getting longer, and the rate
Of species going extinct, is higher than it was before
Governments invite companies to write our laws
Gun control is just a topic for civilians
As governments peddle merchandise by the billions
Terrorism is a matter of perspective, when people bomb your city
Yeah, you wanna get'em back, it's
A vicious cycle of violence that's not unlike a thunderstorm
Appeal to a man's rage, he will run along
Ready for the octagon on Captagon, unfazed by the slaughter
Carried out, just like at the Bataclan...
[Verse 2]
People looking to the skies for guidance
That never brought anything but rain, hail and supercells
Gods only answer prayers of the rich
We rationalize away whenever logic doesn't fit
Personality cults are a bane, it's absurd
We're told to think freely, yet behave as the herd
Addicted to name brands, trying to sell what we can
We turn ourselves into them, then we smile for the cams
Told to empathize and yet block out the suffering
Don't want to be judged while trying to provide sustenance
To be blunt, we're the regular's table attending
A screening of "Nothing New on the Middle Eastern Front"
Makes me wonder when the Reapers come
Although I'm thankful every day I see the Sun
Finding solace in moments with friends, although they're getting rarer
Noone but myself gets to tell me to cheer up...
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8. |
Unobtainium
02:50
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People always tell you "love yourself"
That's redundant, I'm the only one that does it
So I sarcastically explain to them
That everything I want out of love is unobtainium
Strangers love to see the pain I'm in
When they tell me that they want me on the stage again
We're all users, addicts
Selfish, wounded, justifying madness
The way I've aged never lets you see my mind's scars
Life in slow motion, when I write it's like a time warp
Back and forth, slow it down
Fast forward, there's enough time to go around
Your voice says it, I don't even need the words
So when they hit my eardrums, it won't even hurt
It's just a means to confirm how
Reluctance in the end was wise, seeing how it turned out
Alcoholic, but my gin is just platonic
When lovedrunk, I feel my impaired judgment's neurotic
I'm running loops, but refuse to jump through a hoop
And frankly I don't understand what love has got to do with it
We just give each other vibes, taking what we can
While we enrich each other's lies
My eyes are like salt flats, too dry to cry
Those shed tears from past years became crystallized
Repeating patterns, till it's groundhog day again
All the crushes left me crushed, within my naked skin
These brown eyes that you are gazing in
Are tired of being told what I desire is unobtainium
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